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  • Photography
  • Blogs
    • Early Morning Photo Philosophy
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    • The Boreal Carver Presents
  • About Me
  • The Boreal Carver, Pat Potvin
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Living Life the Alda Way....

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The New Year always heralds reflection and a desire to do things differently. I don't bog myself down with "resolutions" that I may or may not keep but I do take a look at the things that are working for me and the ones that aren't. Then I look at the people I admire the most to see how they "be" the life they lead. Throughout my life my mother has been one of those special people that I completely admire - warts and all. She struggled with an obsessive compulsive personality and still managed to make sure that we were loved uniquely, gave to others generously, let her faith guide her, listened intently, kept confidences sacred, acted to keep relationships with family and friends current and laughed at herself with abandon.

Now in her twilight years and with alzheimer's firmly entrenched she is still top in my mind as the person I most want to emulate as I live my life. My mother, Alda, really lives every moment and she has come up with a simple and easy way to enjoy living.

Living Life the Alda Way...A few easy steps:

1. Greet those special people in your life with a big smile of surprise and complete satisfaction that they have come to visit - even if you don't remember their name.

2. Flirt shamelessly with every cute guy you see - don't let age be a factor. Stop and say hi to them and ask if they know you - chances are they will by your reputation alone. Where my mom lives the physiotherapist is "HOT" and he knows her by NAME.

3. Eat what pleases you and enjoy every mouthful. Be surprised every time someone gives you a "treat" and eat it like it is the very first time you have ever tasted something that delicious.

4. Where a "funky" hat. You will always make someone smile when they see you and it's a great conversation starter.

5. Nap regularly. Snore loudly. Snuggle up to someone and share the LOVE.

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6. Be curious. When it says, "Pull" go ahead. If the fire alarm goes off you will have alerted people to your presence and pointed out the weakness in their systems and at the same time you will have found out whose heart is still pumping.

7. Play constantly. If you wander into someone else's room and see their closet open, go ahead and "hide" in there waiting for the first person (probably a nurse) to come into the room and then jump out and say "boo". You will have kept their job interesting while providing your family members with great stories to tell.

8. If you are upset, don't hold back, let others know and let them use their "listening/patience" skills to help you either solve the problem or re-direct. No matter what was said or done, forget and move on.

9. Tell stories that are "true" for you. Keep them guessing what you will come up with next.

10. DANCE every time you hear the music. Grab the closest partner and let your body express the JOY that lives within you.

I am off to see my mom this week and I intend to LIVE life the Alda way. Happy New Year to everyone, may you LIVE your life in every moment that you are blessed with.

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 01.08.12
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 6
 

Memories of Uncle Jim

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

The generation ahead of us is passing away and in its wake we are left wondering if we are ready to be the "older" generation. My Uncle Jim, age 89, passed away the other day. He was married to my mom's oldest sister and I have vivid memories of holidays spent out west in Gimli and seeing all the aunts, uncles and "cousins by the dozens". Uncle Jim in particular brings back clear and crisp visions of the cottage they had in Gimli where we gathered before heading to the beach or for the  Islendingadagurinn (Icleandic Festival) that happened right across the street in the park. We would go back and forth all day, using the washroom, checking in with parents and stopping to eat.

And when you went, you always ran into Uncle Jim. I should say, running into a grumpy Uncle Jim. That was his personality. He would tell you to slow down, be careful in the cottage, be sure you weren't messing with things and if you did - watch out! You were sure to get a "talking to". Uncle Jim belonged with the "parent" category. There was no spoiling coming from him and he had no qualms about telling you how you were misbehaving. Me and my siblings were the youngest of 17 cousins and me and my "little" sister were the very youngest by quite a bit, so by the time we were running around he had been through a whole host of others that I am sure seemed a blur to him. With us, he could give quality scolding time to - how lucky we were!

So it came as a complete surprise when I grew up that Uncle Jim was really a big "softie" when it came to kids. Yes, he had a gruff exterior, a curmudgeonly persona, but inside he was just a pile of mushy goo and the person to bring that out was his first grandchild, Amanda. The 2nd and 3rd generation of nieces and nephews climbed all over the guy. They didn't jump when they heard his voice or shy away. They gladly went up to him to hear him speak and ignore any of his admonishments and do whatever they were going to do anyways. Uncle Jim became that funny guy who pretended to be gruff but was really a big teddy bear underneath.

And I guess I always knew that. Who else would let a stream of children flow through their cottage (a place of leisure!) all summer long. Who else would host and host and host again even though it meant cleaning up constantly, getting everything ready for the onslaught and fixing the things that would inevitably be broken during the foray.

Uncle Jim had his warts like we all do, but underneath those warts he was a hard-working man, a person who kept himself well read, a father who tried to do his best to make sure his children were well prepared for adulthood, a husband who had met his match with his wife (thank goodness those Icelandic-Canadian women are strong!), and he let himself become a part of the extended Narfason family. And I have to stress that part - he chose to be a part of a family that was opinionated, large, boisterous, demanding and never-ending. And that wasn't the way he had been raised. It didn't fit with the controlled family environment he had been a part of so to choose to let yourself by swept along on that Narfason wave was a great leap of faith for Uncle Jim.

And we are all better for it. Thank you Uncle Jim for all the memories. Summers were made because you opened your door at the cottage and I see now that you were opening your heart to let us all in.

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Monday 12.19.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 4
 

Passion and Obsession...A sharing post - read and tell me about yours.

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It's official. My passion is becoming my obsession. For those of you who know me, this won't come as a surprise. Most of you would have said that it was inevitable. It's true, I am on that side of the spectrum where once I get hold of something, I can't let it go. It is hard to tell if I am holding onto it or it is holding onto me. Is this what separates the mundane from the masterpieces? I wonder where the line is for the truly talented? If you can still distinguish and surface into reality, have you not gone far enough to be a genius?

My mom was obsessive compulsive. She was never diagnosed but when looking back at her life (and cleaning out her house) you can see how her obsessiveness to keeping everything neat and tidy became compulsive - she couldn't let go and her compulsion wouldn't let go of her. Even now with alzheimer's securely entrenched, you can see her mind fixating and not wanting to let go until the "job" is done. Her passion wouldn't make her famous, but it did make her organized and allowed her to raise four children, be frugal so that retirement was possible for mom and dad and kept her footprint on this earth to a bare minimum. In her later years her passion became a compulsion and was her ball and chain, keeping her tied to the house, worrying about everyone and narrowing her world to what she could control. Fixating on finding a place for everything and putting it away perfectly kept her from reading, sitting down and enjoying the company, relaxing and finding peace in the chaos. Considering how much her later life was dominated by her obsession, she still managed to leave home for visits, to be involved in the community and to have company over. Was she relaxed about it? - no, but she had moments of pure joy, laughter and yes, once in a while you could see her relax. Her compulsiveness wasn't debilitating to the point of complete withdrawal, but as the years went on, it became more difficult for her to unchain herself.

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I wonder about this a lot. When your passion - however you define it, becomes an obsession - how will you know? And if it does, does that make it a bad thing? How do we decide what obsessions are worthy and which ones aren't? Does the human descent into obsession give the world beauty, joy, cures, love? Does it also give us the evil acts that destroy? Where is the line between what builds and what destroys? And will we know in that moment which one it will be? As we all know, the scientific breakthrough that brought the breaking of the atom, brought us the atom bomb. And even with that evil unleashed in the world, it still has brought us science that will lead us to building our society, not just destroying society. So how do we judge our passions, our obsessions?

I started this post about my passion turning into an obsession. My photography on my runs is that passion. It is the taking of pictures of the colours of Fall right now. I know I am falling into an obsession because it is the backdrop to my dreams - even my nightmares and my behaviour at times is thoughtless. I see the Fall colours everywhere. I notice the play of light and the colours the light creates. Is this a good obsession? Will it lead me to building up or to destruction? Should I let myself go and willingly submit to its hold on me? Right now, I am going to enjoy the ride and observe. What will I notice about myself? Will I like what I see? Will I like who I am? As always, I have the answer within. When my passion turns into an obsession, I know where the line is and I know when that line is being crossed. Passion serves me and others. Obsession serves itself. It's how quickly that happens that trips me up. I can miss that switch from passion to obsession easily and I can ride that descent mindlessly before I recognize the hold it has. And it is sneaky...it can snake back and forth teasing as you go from passion to obsession to passion all in an instant. Or more insidiously, it creeps slowly where you justify that you really haven't moved over the line that much, just a little bit and it will be easy to go back over again. What you don't realize is that you keep moving your line until you have dragged it so far away that it seems a huge journey to get back and you are exhausted from dragging that chain for so long.

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And that's why I want to hear from you. Collectively, our human stories of our unique journeys give us all guideposts to watch for on our own path. Your re-telling of your experience with the accumulated wisdom of your hindsight may be the "ah-ha" moment that keeps me from going through the swamp of despair or avoid the broken glass of regret along my own path.

What's your passion? When do you know if it has switched into an obsession and is only serving itself? How long does it take you to get out of its clutches? How does your body/mind alert you to the descent? Has the descent been what you needed? Has it led you to awareness or growth as a result of the experience?

I want to hear your stories....I want to hear your truths. Enjoy the pictures I took today - my passion? my obsession?

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 10.16.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 1
 

It all changes...and it all stays the same...

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Yesterday (no, not like the Beatles), like in the day before, we went to High Prairie to visit friends on their farm. The day was lovely, the colours stunning and I was taking pictures of everything. The light through the trees, the colours of the leaves, the reflection in the water, the old car covered in moss, it all was calling me to stop and notice, to stop and enjoy the beauty surrounding me. As luck would have it, we had a young boy accompanying us on our walk through the woods and down to the river. He entertained us with his reckless driving of his homemade bicycle down the steep hill and his constant chatter of what he was doing and thinking. It was the perfect soundtrack to a perfect day.

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When I told him that I run every day and stop lots to take pictures on my route, he innocently said, "you must have taken all the pictures if you are going on the same route all the time." To him he could only see the repetitive nature of that run/route and why would I waste my time taking the camera with me if I had already taken those pictures. His innocent stream of consciousness made me think about why I do take the camera and gave me the opportunity to explain that every run, every moment something changes and awaits our notice. The different time of day with the light, the clouds that cover the sky, the slight change in colour from day to day, new growth, signs of decay, a little detour off the path -- it all changes even if it stays the same.

My camera is my "moment" finder. Carrying it and taking pictures are more about being in that moment with that beauty than it is about getting a great picture. Most of what I photograph gets purged when I return. Most of what I "capture" can never be "captured". It doesn't look the same when I "caught" it on the camera - so much of the picture isn't there and what I stopped to see is so much more than what my eye can see. It is the entire moment of just being one with the light, one with nature, one with sound, one with smell, one with sensation - and so much more. How could I ever capture the wind whispering, the birdsong rejoicing, the grasshoppers jumping, the leaf fluttering, the brook babbling, the smell of high-bush cranberries rotting, the light dancing through the trees - all those moments that include a universe of possibility. I can only be in the moment and notice that while everything is the same it is always changing.

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Running daily gives me the chance to experience the change within the sameness and to apply it to my own life. While I can struggle with my "same old thoughts", I know that everything is always changing. A subtle shift of perspective, a brief pause of silence, a twinkle of acceptance, a rich smell of forgiveness, a whispering of calm and a full breath of joy. That is all there even when it feels like my thoughts and feelings are stuck on repeat.

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Our daughter often calls wanting to find out what's new. I tell her that nothing is - it was the same, I went to work, came home, made supper and went to bed to read, fall asleep and get up and start again. I could tell her that everything has changed because it all has. It may sound the same and look the same, but we are like the babbling brook, the water that passes by is always new. I have changed, I continue to change but what has changed can't be captured. It can only be experienced. Next time she calls and asks, "What's new?", I will say "everything" and leave it at that or maybe I will try to do what I do with pictures, share what can't be captured and know that in sharing it will change again and create new moments that can only be experienced.

That really is what makes our humanness so exciting. We do try to "capture" our moments and share them. We connect to the other through the most imperfect of means and in doing so we create new universes of possibility. Today we are having our Thanksgiving meal and I know what I am thankful for - I am thankful for every moment to just be and for every moment to share and be shared with. It isn't the same, it has all changed and every possibility is here right now. WOW, I am thankful for the AWESOMENESS of the universe.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 10.09.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
 

Sundays are for quick culinary adventures....walnuts, gluten-free, leftovers, roasting veggies and so much more.

Oven-roasted veggies for spaghetti sauce, mmmmm....
Oven-roasted veggies for spaghetti sauce, mmmmm....

Sunday is my day for cooking, specifically Sunday mornings. My inspiration comes during the week as I plan what I will make for supper on Sunday and be our leftovers for the week. Being a morning person means that I have a small window of energy in which to make the meal after I wake up on Sunday. With a plan to have my morning coffee while reading the Sunday Edmonton Journal, getting my workout in before I leave for my 10:00 am run, have a "morning date" with my sexy husband and spend the rest of the Sunday being lazy, it doesn't leave much time for any fancy gourmet meal preparation. One hour is about how much time I allot for the task which has to include all chopping and getting the food ready to be cooked. So what can you get done in 1 hour that will taste good? A lot!

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Walnuts are my latest obsession for everything from salads to desserts. Today I made an apple/cranberry/date/peach crisp without any flour or oatmeal. I got all the fruit out of the fridge that looked like it was ready to crawl out on its own, cut, peeled and chopped and threw them in a pot with a little bit of apple juice, chopped dates and frozen cranberries. I sauteed them and then added a big spoonful of fig jam and sprinkled with cinnamon. For the topping I toasted walnuts in a dry frying pan and then added apple juice to make it sizzle, threw in a handful of raisins, craisins and frozen cranberries. As that cooked away I poured a sprinkling of honey over the mixture and put in a teaspoon of cinnamon. Leaving it for a few more minutes on the stove I started with the main dish for supper.

A few weeks ago I had made a spaghetti sauce by roasting the vegetables first and it was delicious. Today seemed like a good day to try it again. Using chopped onions, zucchini, smashed garlic and lots of diced tomatoes, I tossed them in olive oil, salt, pepper and lots of oregano and put it in the roaster. I don't eat spaghetti normally (I try to avoid things with flour) and so I cut up a spaghetti squash, acorn squash and a sweet potato to put in the oven to bake.

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I do have to do a bit of work in the afternoons, but mostly the finishing touches to the meal and the final cooking. I scraped the squashes, mashed them together in a bowl, added salt/pepper and butter to the mix and spread into the pan. I will put it back in the oven 1/2 hour before supper for a final baking. I roasted the vegetables for an hour, cut up some chorzio sausage to toss in with the veggies, added some red and white wine (and had a few sips for myself), covered the roaster and put back in the oven at 250 to let it simmer till supper time.

What's left? Make a quick salad with spinach, cut apple, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt/pepper and oregano and voila - supper is served!

Now I can start thinking about next Sunday's meal - Thanksgiving. I have lots of ideas in my head that will take more time to prepare but that's okay, I will have Monday to rest with lots of leftovers for another week.

What are your great recipes? What inspires you in the kitchen? What is your easiest and best recipe? I would love to hear what you are cooking - that is always my best inspiration, ideas from others. Bon appétit!

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 10.02.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 2
 

Here comes the sun....Hallelujah!

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From fire to flood in two months is severe and a bit wearing on the nerves. You know how short your nerves are getting when you see the sun for a brief glimpse and you all gather round to witness the event.

I think I am pretty tough when it comes to weather. I have lived in Northern Alberta for over 30 years now and I have "weathered" -40 to +30. But I have to say this year has been exceptionally ROUGH and I say ENOUGH is ENOUGH. I get why cultures throughout the ages have worshipped all sorts of deities and had numerous belief systems. It was a way of bringing back some control to an uncontrollable situation. Mother Nature can be a real BITCH and if you thought that hopping on one foot while chanting backwards with your arms raised to the sky would appease her in some way, I say GO FOR IT! Really, I completely understand. For the past week I have been contemplating sacrificing a pair of virgins to a "puddle". I wasn't even going to be picky about the "virgin" part - just any willing pair that would "take one for the team". Lately Pat has been going to sleep with one eye open because he was afraid I just might decide that he would have to be the one.

And it isn't the first time I have had thoughts like this. We had a loooong winter and I was having the same thoughts about sacrificing a pair of virgins to a snowdrift. When we finally got Spring-like weather it was in early May and within 2 weeks we had a devastating fire that destroyed a huge portion of our town and the surrounding communities. And just when we are back from evacuation and people are trying to sort through the rubble so they can begin to rebuild, we get rain, rain, rain, rain......and I mean RAIN. It's hard to keep an optimistic outlook.

So when the sun finally comes out you want to soak it all up, get as much Vitamin D as you can to fortify yourself for whatever comes next. You can't help but smile and dance for joy. The sun is like some long-lost friend that you just ran into, a long ago lover that you never got over, a superstar that came out to mingle -- you get the idea, it's a BIG DEAL. A smile won't rebuild our town but it sure will help to lighten the emotional load that so many people are carrying around. The sunshine makes that possible - it brings rays of hope that we so desperately need.

I don't know if someone "took one for the team" or if someone came up with a "sun-dance" that actually worked. What I do know is that I am grateful for the sunshine. Grateful for a reprieve. Grateful to Mother Nature who is smiling on us today. I will try to "store" this in my very pores and remember this feeling so I can keep that smile on my face. I know that this year more than ever I have to keep a sunny disposition - I have to be there for the team as we begin to rebuild, not in a way that discounts the hard reality of their situations, but in a way that helps them see the sunnier days to come. Hope is sometimes all we have to hold onto and I want those rays of hope to shine as bright as they can in the months to come.

Here's to SUNNIER days for all of us.

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 07.17.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
 

What's it like to be a twin, without being a twin?....

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1967 4Mackids

In just a few short days I will celebrate my birthday and two days later my sister will celebrate hers. Although we are two years and two days apart in age we were treated like we were twins. Strange you may say....frugal my mother would say.

Just think. If you could combine two birthday parties into one, shop for the same thing, just in a different colour - it makes perfect sense. You save time and money. And why stop at birthdays? You can keep it up for all special occasions. Being the youngest of seventeen cousins on my mother's side and adding the "exhaustion" factor, it made it a whole lot easier on aunts who had to manage all of this gift-buying.

And we did look an awful lot alike. Mom was very good at giving us identical "boy-short" haircuts and we were both blond and pale. I can see how you could forget that we were actually two years apart and not "twins". In all family functions we were "foisted" upon each other, having no other younger children to play with. Only when we were with our other cousins on my dad's side did we have cousins our own age to play with. Unfortunately, they lived far away and we only got together with them rarely.

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Not that I am complaining (well maybe a little). Looking back on my childhood I realize how important that relationship was with my sister. We were the best of friends and the worst of enemies. We could easily play contentedly for hours only to break out into a brawl with the mere "note of song" from my sister's lips. I loved her and hated her all at once. Being stuck together in everything made her my very best friend and the one that could get me grinding my teeth in fury when she....breathed too loudly at night (we slept in the same room), began to sing in the house, sucked on her fingers (which she did until she was 9 when she slept) and a host of other trivial little things that got on my nerves. Looking back on this I can't think of why it upset me so and why I would fly into a rage when she did these things. I think it was that feeling of powerlessness in "choosing" how much together time you wanted with a person.

The gifts were another thing. It was dreadful when Christmas and our birthdays came around and one of us would open our gift first. The other would then know what they were getting - totally ruining the surprise, except for the colour of the item. I can still remember vividly why one of my happiest times was when I had my appendix out at the age of 6. The reason I was so happy? Aunts and uncles and friends came to visit me after the surgery and brought me presents JUST FOR ME! There was no sharing. I couldn't believe my good fortune. I don't recall the pain of the operation, but I sure remember getting all those gifts that were mine alone. I am sure I made a point of gloating when my sister came to visit.

Still it was the gifts we shared that I remember most. Our grandparents allowed us to choose an item from the Eaton's Christmas catalogue that would be our shared Christmas present. One year we got telephones that were connected by a wire we could have in different rooms and "speak" to one another through. Another year we got an "Easy Bake Oven". And one year we got one of the best gifts ever - a bike for the two of us from our parents. Not a new one. It was a used bike and one of the best presents we ever received. For my 13th and my sister's 11th birthday, we got a brand new 5-speed bike. Again, we shared this gift and we were ecstatic. We thought we had won the lottery.

And I have won the lottery of life. My youngest sister is one of the greatest gifts of my life. We weathered our growing up years together, learned how to play together and how to share...our hopes, our dreams, our reality, our fears, our lives. I know that her love is always there for me no matter how far away I am. Her love is like the nights she would come over to my bed and snuggle up beside me, keeping me safe from the numerous monsters that plagued our room. She may have driven me insane with her "loud" breathing, but it was her very presence that comforted my heart.

So here's to my twin, the one that still holds my heart in hers and has treated it with all the love and care I have needed over the years. Happy Birthday Pegga - I LOVE YOU!

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 06.26.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 4
 

Slave Lake - Out of the Ashes: Shock, Pain, Hope and Renewal....

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I have lived in Slave Lake for 30 years - all of my adult life. This community is my home. What happened to my community on Sunday, May 15th was the biggest shock of my life.

I am not new to forest fires. Since coming to Northern Alberta in 1980 I have experienced the relative close proximity of forest fires and I have seen the devastation they cause in our beautiful surroundings.

Many years ago I drove down Highway 2 towards Edmonton a few weeks after a fire had gone through. It was the first time I had seen the aftermath and what I saw took me by surprise. I was expecting a "clean slate" with just charred remains of trees for miles. Instead I saw the blackened trunks of trees, the blackened grass and a stunning carpet of emerald green. In the full light of a late spring day this carpet of green was dazzling, especially in contrast to the blackness all around. The emerald green carpet was the new grass growing, overtaking the blackness of the earth creating a new landscape. I remember crying at the stunning beauty amidst the destruction.

For the many who have lost their homes, for residents who had to flee to places far and wide, for the firefighters who tried to avert disaster, for the emergency personnel who have sifted through the rubble, for officials who are trying to piece together a functional community, for all who have been affected by this fire there will be a wide range of emotions from initial shock to action, to pain, to anger, to incredible grief for what we have lost. For some this will happen quickly, for others it will take time to go through. Over time many of us will cycle through these emotions as we reach critical junctures in rebuilding.

And out of all of this, hope emerges taking root in our souls, pushing out of the blackness to create a carpet of emerald green that will lead to our renewal. It won't be easy. It will be trying for many and it will take a community to support each other as we move through the blackness and into the light.

We have a long road ahead of us and I am so lucky to know that I will be on that journey with the Slave Lake and area residents. I have lived in Slave Lake for 30 years for a reason. Yes I love our region for its natural beauty, but I stay because of the people. You are the beauty that can never be replaced.

See you all very soon and thank you to all the firefighters, emergency personnel, public officials, government workers and all who are tirelessly working to make our community safe so we can come home - we will never be able to thank you enough. Another big thank you to the huge outpouring of support from our region, the province, the country and the world. You have let us know that we are not alone and have allowed our hope to grow.

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categories: Baring the Soul, General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Thursday 05.26.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 4
 

Happy Mother's Day Mom

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My mom is the best mom in the whole wide world and she shares that title with many other moms all over the world today. In my eyes, she has no competition and to many sons and daughters the world over they would feel that way about their own mothers. There are lots of reasons for this sentiment and they all come back to how much they love. It is a feeling that seeps right down to your very core and gives you the sustenance to make your way in life.

My mother just came for a visit. I had her for 13 glorious days. She no longer travels on her own, she no longer remembers from moment to moment, she isn't even sure who I am in relation to her anymore. I could tell you a story about "losing" the mom I knew to alzheimer's or I could tell you the real story about the wonderful woman my mother is right now. Our roles were reversed over the 13 days. I became the "parent", providing personal care to mom, but she retains the one thing that makes her the best mom in the whole wide world - her love that radiates into every corner of my soul.

In celebration of Mother's Day and in celebration of my mother Alda, here is some of what my mother has taught me over the years....

  • Smile every chance you get.
  • Laugh at yourself and laugh with others.
  • Be interested in others. Listen to their stories.
  • Be frugal and leave a small "footprint".
  • Forgive easily.
  • Own your quirks.
  • Inform yourself.
  • Read daily.
  • Enjoy the sunrise, sunset, the moon, the clouds, the birds, the squirrels, the water, the boats, people walking by, children playing.....welcome joy in every moment.
  • Stay connected to family.
  • Reach out and give generously.
  • See the potential for change even in the darkest moments.
  • Dance, dance, dance and then dance some more....
  • Help others get the spotlight.
  • Worry with faith.
  • LOVE like there is no tomorrow.

Thanks mom. I love you - you are the best mom in the whole wide world!

Mom and me trying to line dance - April 22-11 from Edith Mackenzie on Vimeo.

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 05.08.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 6
 

Who Let Us Be the Grownups Anyways?

DCF 1.0
DCF 1.0

It is one of those weeks where I have felt constantly under siege. Each time I get my head wrapped around one thing, another pops up and my emotional response is a little on the "crotchety" side. I just get back up when BAM, another hit comes and down I go for the count. While these experiences may help contribute to my maturity, in the moment they just feel like overload. Can someone in the universe let me "learn" my lesson in my own time!

So who let us be the grownups anyways? As long as my mom and dad were around, I could dip my toes into the pool of adulthood without having to fully submerge. With dad's death and mom's alzheimer's, I and my siblings are now the "head" of the household. Whether we wanted it or not, we have been dunked. Every time I come up for air I get another dunking. I wasn't ready for this and I don't think I really signed up for it.

I remember those childhood/teenage years where aging seemed to be an ever elusive and unreachable goal. What I craved - independence to do what I wanted, when I wanted - was just that. I didn't know that I would have to take all the responsibility that came with it and be face-to-face with the consequences of my ill-thought out choices. And I didn't know that my body may mature but my mental/emotional maturity would take years and years to gain any ground. What you may see when you look at me is an adult, but inside that little "i" is jumping up and down demanding constant attention - man that inner child is annoying!

About a year and a half ago I still had a safety net. I could call up mom and dad and have a good chat, know that they had my back no matter what happened. They were always rooting for me and allowed me to be in "Neverland" just a little bit longer. I could still drift into their comforting arms and be held in their loving embrace - protected from all the monsters in my life. I still had to take responsibility but I knew that I could always turn to them for solace. I didn't have to be the "grownup" with them and I loved that space to be the child I still was inside.

Now it's our turn and I have to say I wasn't ready for this role. I want to be the confident, warm, loving and wise parent on the outside, but inside I am screaming for HELP! Who let me be the grownup? Don't you think I should have interviewed for this? Shouldn't my apprenticeship be a little longer? What if I fail? Who will be there to pick up the pieces? Maybe we should think this over a bit more....

So let me start by apologizing for my inadequacies and my denial. I thought I had more time. I thought I could avoid the job. I didn't think they were serious and thought they would find a more suitable replacement. I thought I could pretend to be grownup without having to really mean it, that it was just like playing "dressup". I never knew how hard mom and dad had it when their parents passed away. I didn't know how vulnerable they must have felt to know that you were it - you were the grownup now.

Right now I just want to be curled up beside mom and dad getting the "snuggling" that made it all alright. No matter how bad it was, they always had that for me, just letting me know that it was okay. I could be the child and let them be the adult for just that moment. That's all I needed to get up and go again and play at being a grownup, to keep rehearsing for that reality show called life. But this isn't a dress rehearsal anymore. I am here trying to get a grip on what it means to be an "adult" and I am finding out what mom and dad knew all along. It isn't easy. There is no manual. When you think you know something you find out you really don't know anything. You are human. You will make mistakes. And it's okay - you will be alright. Pick yourself up, grab the helping hand, breathe and most importantly LIVE every moment. Joy is there in the wonder of it all.

Thanks mom, thanks dad. I think I can do this.....

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 04.10.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 3
 

Winter Slayers in the Hamlet of HadEnough - The creation of an epic game takes a community....

heathKnightsTale
heathKnightsTale

Week 2 and I still need your help. I know that Spring is arriving and we are starting to shed our need to complain about winter, not wanting to "anger" any natural force that may just give us another "blast" before Spring really stays. But I want to be prepared for next year. I want to have an epic game ready that will help stave off those long winter blues so I am pushing on.

Creating an epic requires community as it has for millennia. Story-telling is a communal event where participation is key. Each generation has added and embellished on the great stories of our evolution and even though it may be one story-teller, each story-teller has gathered their ideas and borrowed their lines from everyone they meet. What they add is their unique spin to the crafting of the story. In the end, each story is a story of all of us - the darkness, the light, the potential, the destruction, the courage, the cowardice - it all exists within each of us and some of us harbour these elements deep within our very souls - some of us will stumble upon the opportunities to live the glory publicly and others are doomed to let the darkness loose upon the land. Most of us will live in the nether-world of grey where every day dips us into the pool where ripples can become tsunamis of reality or they can fade away to a far-away shore of our consciousness.

Here is your opportunity to bring it all out into the light of creation. We can make it "real" and decide its fate or let it live organically where the story chooses how it plays out. Here is what we have so far:

The small Hamlet of HadEnough is being held in the "grip" of Old Man Winter. Old Man Winter has unleashed his complete arsenal at the hamlet. HadEnough is under siege. The Hamlet is being defended by the Knights of Chinook who are led by Sir Smilealot. The Knights are barely holding on. Chinks in their armour are starting to appear and Sir Smilealot's leadership is coming under question. He is more interested in sending platitudes to the troops than really getting out there and waging battle. Some are questioning whether his constant smiling is from genuine zeal or being artificially maintained through the use of the powerful new drug that is circulating in town - "Don't worry, Be Happy" pills. Rumour has it that these pills are being smuggled into town by the shady "Sleet Gang". This gang works both sides of the conflict looking for opportunity to make money - they can disguise themselves as snow or as rain depending on who they are dealing with.

Sir Meltalot is becoming more and more impatient with Sir Smilealot's leadership and is quietly rallying support for a coup. Lady Warmheart, Sir Smilealot's betrothed is warming more than one heart in the town and her powerful "force" is gaining its own support. While the Knights do battle, the women of the town are quietly weaving spells into the fabric of clothing that are slowly gaining strength to repel one of Old Man Winter's worst weapons - "Hell has Frozen Over Cold". The losses of fingers, toes, noses and the like are becoming less and less as the women gain deftness in their spinning and strength through their successes. Their secret meetings and sharing of spells is creating a whole new "troop" that is slowly emerging to be the "force" Old Man Winter needs to reckon with.

While the Knights argue amongst themselves, Old Man Winter realizes that the women of the town are the real threat to his supremacy. He casts his own spell, striking those who are most affected by the darker days with a "zombie" curse. Once they fall under the curse they become his minions in the town wreaking havoc and destruction as the town descends into nights that seem to stretch more and more....is the town doomed???

To be continued...WITH YOUR HELP. Anyone who contributes an idea will have a "share" in the game if it ever gets a bite from a gaming company. Get those creative juices flowing and enjoy the sneak preview of Spring this week.

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 04.03.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
 

Love of a mother....the best feeling. I am feeling the LOVE today - Valentine's Day.

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100_0349

It is Valentine's Day and I did the one thing that I knew would make my day. I phoned my mom. My mom makes every phone call a special one. When she says "hello" and I say, "Hi Mom, it's me, Edith, your daughter", she responds with a full throated, "Eeeeedith" every time. I wish you could hear it because it is the nicest way anyone could ever say someone's name (with the exception of my husband who is pretty good at saying my name when he has that twinkle in his eye...). As soon as mom says my name like that I get the warmest feeling there is, that feeling that I am LOVED with a capital "L" and that I am the most special person in the world.

I can't help but smile and that smile starts at the tip of my toes and goes all the way up to the top of my head. I don't just smile - I beam! I can feel the light inside me burst out and connect to that awesome light my mom is sending me. It might be because I have lived far away from home for all of my adult life that a phone call to mom is so special or it might be that in her transformation due to alzheimer's that every moment is all there is and she puts every ounce of her focus into what she is doing. What I do know is that all the love she has for me and more comes through and I am given the greatest gift of all.

And that gift that mom gives to me is there every day and in every moment. Being loved unconditionally is the gift that always keeps giving. Her love fills me and I just have to let myself accept her wonderful embrace. I can feel those arms 3,000 kms away just like she was right here.

Today on Valentine's Day I wish I could help everyone feel that love. My mom might be the vessel of that loving embrace for me, but the source of all that love is there in each of us. God's love is always there and patiently waiting for all of us to let ourselves feel that tender and caressing hug - a mother's hug that lets you know you are special, you are LOVED.

May you feel the LOVE and be the LOVE today. Happy Valentine's Day.

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Monday 02.14.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 1
 

Water....Flowing Water....The Meaning of Life (for now...)

Victoriawaterfall
Victoriawaterfall

Recently we spent a weekend outside of Victoria up on a mountain. Besides the great people we went with, the beautiful house we stayed in and the wonderful views, there was water running down the mountain close by. Every morning when I went for my run to explore I would stop with my little camera and snap away at the beauty of this water. Having a camera has taught me that you can never "capture" beauty, you can only get a "piece" of a moment. With water it is even more pronounced as you watch it flow away no matter how trigger happy you are.

I had to try anyways. Do you ever have something that "calls" you? Water does to me. Not just any water. Water that is running, flowing, tinkling, rushing - water that is moving on calls my name and I respond. As soon as I can hear it I want to see it and now with the camera, I want to "capture" the movement.

Victoriawateronrock
Victoriawateronrock

I want what this water has. It is freely moving through the landscape. It meets up with others to run together to make something and it keeps on going. Change is constant and yet it keeps flowing freely. Sometimes it collects to hang out in a small pool until the one drop needed to make it overflow happens and the water is on the move again. It forever changes the landscape it passes through without stopping to make it "just right". The water nourishes as it runs along giving life to so many things without stopping for praise.

Maybe water knows it has this inner beauty, content to be a part of something bigger than itself. Maybe water knows it is here to serve and joyously runs along into every unknown with complete faith. Maybe it just "is" and doesn't need to contemplate the meaning at all.

Victoriawaterfall3
Victoriawaterfall3

And I think that's what I am meant to absorb. Meaning is only relevant in our minds. Meaning is our little universe which is only part of the whole and we have to leave our little "i" to flow with the life we are a part of. We need to joyously move into the unknown with faith and with utter abandonment. The thoughts we have are like the pictures I take with my camera -- it is just a "piece" and a "piece" that is immediately in the past. The beauty of our lives and all of creation is something we can't capture. Life is a verb - it is to be LIVED, one moment at a time.

I am going to be the water today, go with the flow and LIVE...

Victoriawaterfallsoftfocus
Victoriawaterfallsoftfocus
categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 02.13.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 1
 

The Joy of Winter Running....or the Diary of a Madwoman....

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P1010448

It's winter! This past Fall I was determined to run outside all winter. If I let a little bit of snow or cold stop me, I would be confined to the indoor treadmill for six months. I used to do that in the winter. If it dropped below -15 Celcius, if there was a wind, if it was too dark (when isn't it dark in a Northern Alberta winter?), if it was snowing, I would head down to the basement, throw in a movie and run on the treadmill. Problem is I dislike running inside on a treadmill. I feel like some little gerbil in a cage and it just seems like time slows down when you run inside. Watching a movie is okay - that at least kept me entertained, but I had to have headphones on to listen.  The headphones get REALLY sweaty. The headphones would have "salt" stains on the foam after using them several times and if you didn't air them properly they were still a little soggy the next morning - I KNOW - GROSS!!! And try sharing them with your spouse who sweats more than you -- YUCK! Yes, we did get separate sets of headphones, but even still, he had sweated all over the treadmill and just the thought of all that body fluid flung all over the room is enough to make you gag while running. I am sure it is my mindset (what isn't a product of my thoughts?), but it seemed harder to run on the treadmill and I would have to drag myself down to do my run. Because I was just running on the same spot over and over, it made it easier for me to end the run early justifying that I had put the speed up and worked harder.

Last winter I was inspired by my very good friend Cindy who became my running partner (before she moved away). Cindy had started running the year previously and was on a 3-4 day a week plan that suited her schedule well. We started running together in the mornings because my husband's knee had ended his running days with me. I loved the company, especially Cindy's wonderful listening skills. She is a thinker, needs time to absorb the conversation before she typically jumps in with thoughts of her own. That's a great running partner for someone who rarely thinks before they talk and likes to babble and hear themselves (that's me!). By the time Cindy was ready to say something I had filled in the silence with my ramblings and because she now had to think some more about what I just said, I could ramble on fairly non-stop for a full run. You have to love friends like that! I really looked forward to the mornings that I would meet Cindy and do our morning route. The time flew by. Cindy was bound and determined to get out no matter the weather and the year before had managed to do a run in -30. I figured if a "newbie" to running can suck it up and do that, I could after running for more than 10 years. So off to Mountain Equipment Co-Op I went last Fall. I invested in some good winter running clothing armed with the knowledge of the parts that I struggle with - my hands, my face, my feet. I bought a pair of mitts that haven't failed me yet, gators to go over my double socks to keep out the wet and cold and a full balaclava for my face. Depending on the weather I may wear a couple of layers for pants and tops, put on a neck warmer and hat with the balaclava and off I go on my run.

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P1010452

Being clothed properly for the weather conditions gave me a sense of hardiness and contributed to a new maverick personality. I "scoff" at the thought of not going out. Really, if you dress for the weather, there is no excuse. Again, all a mindset. I am not saying a very smart mindset, but setting my mind to the task has me outside in all kinds of weather. The hardest thing is getting the clothing right. If you dress too much and start warm, you will be boiling hot by the time you finish and risk sweating so much that it starts to freeze and give you a "chill".  What a combination. I guess that really is my normal anyways - menopause! If you wear too little clothing then you start off cold and really never warm up. That can work in your favour if you want to run faster.  Our outdoor thermometer helps me plan for the run but it misses the most crucial piece of the puzzle - what's the wind doing? If it is -25 without a wind I can wear the same clothing I wear when it is -15 with a strong wind. Wind is really what makes the difference, especially when you are heading against the wind.  If I head out against the wind, yes it is a B*%^h, but coming home is pleasant because you are heated up now and you can go home without the wind cooling off all that sweat you have accumulated in your clothing. The worst days are the ones where there is a wind and you head out with the wind and come home against the wind. I struggle coming back home in that wind. It builds up icicles on my sweaty clothing and chills me to the bone. It's days like that when I feel like hitchhiking home.

And yes, you still will sweat when you run in the winter. Yesterday was a prime example. The temperature was hovering around -12 and it was snowing and blowing. The snowfall had happened overnight and the graders were out clearing the streets. This was a Saturday so they wouldn't be doing the trail for a while, priority goes to the roads. For the first stretch to the trail, I ran on the road trying to follow the car tracks. This is the treacherous part as the snow has built up over icy sections and you have to be careful you don't slip. Then I hit the sidewalk which hadn't been plowed and I started breaking trail. Breaking trail in the snow is hard work, especially when you have a foot or more of snow to plow through. I usually go up the hill to the cemetery (our only hill close to town with the best view) and down on a Saturday, ending at "Here's To Your Health" for a latte with the gang - because USUALLY at least 1 or 2 show up for a Saturday run together. I waited the obligatory 5 minutes to see if anyone would venture out with me. No such luck. I don't know what was stopping them - it was just a "few flakes".

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P1010459

Off I trudged on the trail but I only made it to the Highway 88 bend and had to turn back. It wasn't because I was cold or because it was too windy, it was because I was EXHAUSTED, gasping for air and dripping sweat from the effort of breaking trail. I admitted defeat, called Pat on the cell phone and told him to meet me early for that latte. Fortunately the weather hadn't deterred the staff person who opens up the shop. She greeted us with a warm smile and a warm drink.

For me, yesterday's run was another "notch" on my belt. This morning will be another (let's see if I can make it up the hill - the weather is still the same, just with more snow!). When I run in adverse weather I feel good. For someone who is never going to win a race, racing against myself and pushing to find my limits are win enough for me.  I can proudly declare that I am a RUNNER, especially when I run through a Northern Alberta winter.

Happy Trails to you.

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P1010471
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P1010474
categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 01.09.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 3
 

Best Split Pea Soup...Starting the New Year Right.

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P1010367

It's Sunday morning, Jan. 2, 2011 and I am off to a great start for the New Year. Sunday mornings are my favorite and what gets it off to a good start is a cup of coffee, the morning paper and reading the book reviews. What can make that even better? Getting a pot of homemade soup going so the aroma drifts through the house to mix with the rich smell of freshly ground coffee (one of my favorite smells). Making a pot of split pea soup with the leftover ham bone and stock from Christmas - even better. How much more Canadian can I get? I guess if I had a hockey game playing in the background that could up it a notch.

I love homemade soups and I love my Sundays to be relaxing. After working all week and doing something Friday and Saturday evenings, I need one day to unwind before I head back to work. Being of a certain age (over 40 and close to 50), working full-time consumes my energy. I remember how I worked full-time, raised a family, did my degree part-time, volunteered and I still had energy to spare. I think I used it all up back then because now I have to be in bed by 7 pm reading so I can fall asleep by 8 pm. I am an early morning riser, but even still, this seems to be a bit extreme.

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P1010368

I also live for routine. Control-freak comes to mind and I know that about myself, so keeping to routine keeps me balanced. I don't have to use much energy thinking about what to do, it is rote and it happens like clockwork every day. This leaves my energy to pour into the creative side I have (that is neat & tidy - that goes without saying) without it taking too much of my time. Patience may be a virtue, but it is one that has eluded me all my life. I also need to "check" things off that mental "to do" list I keep (in keeping with that control-freak nature I have) so it has to be something I can do in a relatively easy chunk of time and be complete. No masterpieces for me - good enough is what I strive for. While some people may search for just the right ingredients to put in a soup, I will find what I have, what I can buy in a small rural community, find a recipe I like and follow it loosely to create a great soup -- and get it all ready on the stove in under an hour. I maximize my energy. Being a natural morning person, I have to do all this when I get up and before I sit down to that first cup of coffee to read the morning paper (remember that mental "to do" list I need to check off). Yes I know, obsessive compulsive comes to mind, but it works for me.

And it works for my husband (most days). He gets great homemade soups that are nutritious and delicious. He also gets that same meal for several days. Fortunately for me, he is pretty easy-going about eating the same thing over and over. That is how I conserve my energy. A pot of soup will last us 3-4 meals making the evening supper during the week a snap. I get home from work, take the pot out of the fridge, put it back on the stove to heat up, make a quick salad or sandwiches and VOILA! supper served by 6 pm every day.

I have plenty of family and friends that think I have a "problem". They will laugh at my "quirks" and feel sorry for my husband. They can't imagine how structured I am or that it may be healthy for me, and even if they concede it works for me, they can't imagine living with me. I have to agree, living with me would be a challenge. I know, I have lived with myself for over 4 decades. It's taken me this long (and will take longer) to realize what works for me and what doesn't. When I am on the mountaintop of my life journey and can see for miles around, I am able to use my strengths (planning, organization, task completion, multi-tasking, efficiency, creativity, critical thinking, compassion) to serve others. When I am in the valleys of my journey with that myopic view these same strengths become my weaknesses (rigidity, narrowness, neediness) and it becomes all about me. I can be that self-centered monster in an instant.

That's what's great about being married. Over the years we have tempered each other's weaknesses, have mirrored each other to ourselves so we can see the beauty and the flaws we bring to the relationship. My husband broadens my view and helps me see that I can rise above the "weakest" link I have, that I can climb back up the chain to its source of love and light. He isn't just my life partner, he is my learning partner, collaborating with me to make life's lessons fruitful. I love that about him, he never thinks that you "can't teach an old dog new tricks". He knows that while it may take a lifetime for me to learn, it will be a lifetime full of great moments learning together. In the end he knows, "it takes a community to raise a child" and being children of God we express that community to each other in the most intimate way. It helps us remember to be that community for others and to support the learning that brings life to our community.

So we started with split pea soup and ended with relationships. Sounds like a great start to the New Year. Wishing you all a wonderful New Year - full of learning, joy, peace and LOVE.

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For those who want a good recipe to follow for split pea soup - I got this one out of the food section in the Edmonton Journal about a year ago.

Ron's Pea Soup (from Edmonton Journal Food Section, around February 2010)

2 cups whole dried yellow peas soaked overnight (I couldn't find these so used 2 cups of dried navy beans and then put in 1 cup of yellow split peas on the day of cooking) 1 tbsp vegetable oil 8 oz double-smoked slab bacon, diced just over 1/4 inch or 2 cups diced cooked ham (I used the double-smoked slab bacon -- great!) 1 large cooking onion, diced 1 large carrot, peeled and diced 3 stalks celery, chopped (sometimes I use diced cabbage if I don't have celery) 2 cloves garlic, minced 3 medium-large russet potatoes, peeled and diced 1 meaty ham bone and/or split pig’s trotter or other soup bones, if handy (used a good meaty ham bone — wonderful) 7 cups chicken stock (if using the boxed stuff get low sodium) 1 rind (skin) Parmesan cheese about 4 inches square (if you have it) -- I didn’t have this so didn’t use 1 bay leaf 2 sprigs fresh rosemary 1/2 tbsp dried thyme 1 tsp dried savoury 10 grinds black peppercorns (I ground mine 10 times — that’s how I interpreted this) 1 bundle Italian parsley tied with butcher’s twine (I couldn’t find Italian so used regular parsley) 1 tsp dried herbs de Provence mixture (I couldn’t find this so didn’t add — just used a little more thyme and savoury)

In a large pot, heat oil on high and saute diced ham/slab bacon, then add onion, carrot, celery and saute until onion is translucent, but not browned.  Add garlic and saute another minute, then add potatoes, drained soaked peas (and I added the split peas here), ham bone and cover with chicken stock.  Add cheese rind, if using, bay leaf, rosemary, thyme, savoury, groud pepper, parsley bundle and herbs de Provence.

Bring to boil, reduce heat and gently simmer, covered, 2 or 3 hours, or until tender, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon to avoid sticking/scorching. When done, remove and discard bone, 2 sticks from rosemary sprigs, parsley bundle, bay leaf; taste and adjust seasonings with salt and pepper, if necessary.  (I didn’t do this next step, but if you like it smoother you might want to — I like my soups chunky). Using an immersion blender, puree soup in the pot just enough to thicken mixture while still leaving at least half not blended for texture. Gently simmer completed soup, covered and stirring occasionally, until serving.

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 01.02.11
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 5
 

Counting Our Blessings...2010

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

I read an article this morning about a mother who is coming to Edmonton to visit her daughter. Her daughter emigrated to Canada from Ireland a year ago. This mother was talking about how Ireland is loving Canada right now, how their young people are considering moving here so they can find work. With the big crash in Ireland, Canada is seen as an ideal destination for the young and unemployed of Ireland. This mother (and father) were traveling to Edmonton this Christmas to celebrate the season with their (much loved) daughter.

I could relate. I may not have come from Ireland, but I came from Southern Ontario all the way out west to Alberta and have lived here for more than 29 years. While my reasons for coming are different, my reasons for staying were motivated by the fact that I had made a life here - raised a family, had a good job and made incredible friends in the community. Like all other immigrants to Canada, you left another life behind and forged ahead to create a new life in a new land. The pull of "home" is always tugging at us because family is family. Blood ties run deep and you hang on to the lifeline it is, knowing that you share deep roots. At the same time you start to grow new roots that sprout all over and spread in this new soil of opportunity. Some of the shoots will grow big and strong and others will whither and die as you negotiate the journey that is your life. Throughout it all you will realize that you create community wherever you go, that you will be blessed with friends that are the "family you choose or family that chooses you". Some friends will last a lifetime, others will be there only briefly and some will not seem friendly at all - but they are all part of your family, the human family, and each and every one of them will help you on your way.

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

In 2009-2010 we found out how deep our roots were as our family was challenged with life-altering events. It seemed to start with the death of my father, Jim Mackenzie, on November 19, 2009, but in truth, it always starts with life - a life we were all blessed to have been a part of and now were being called to celebrate and commune with in a new way. While dad's physical body was dead, his spirit lived on and gave us all strength to continue on our journey. Mom's declining memory and the need to bring her home to Alberta for six months allowed us to discover the beautiful person Alda is at every stage of her journey. She brought us great joy in her daily laughter and incredible capacity for enjoying the moments of life that really are worth living for - the sunset, the moon in the night sky, the birds in the backyard, the children playing across the street, the blow-by-blow details of our neighbour's comings and goings, the excitement of seeing spring arriving, the hearing of the dogs barking, the simple pleasure of ice cream for dessert, the smile of greeting for our arrivals and the newness of every moment, every day. It was like living the movie "Groundhog Day" and getting to do the same day over and over until we got it right - it is being there for others that really brings us great joy and peace.

Seeing our children for brief or prolonged periods were special. Joey when he came to celebrate grampa's life at his funeral, Denise when we could make it to the city or she returned home for breaks from her nursing program at the U of A and Robert in the summer when he came from Munich, Germany to share in the burying of dad's ashes on a beautiful August summer day. We were reminded that our love for our children is never-ending no matter how old they become (Denise - 21, Joey - 29, Robert - 31). While some of our children struggled with illness this past year we realized that sometimes all we can do is pray and know that God walks with them every step of the way.

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beach Photos 18

And ultimately that's what we learned this past year. God walks with us every step of the way in the many encounters with God's family (all of creation) that we had. Our immediate family were there to lend a hand, to hold on to each other and to send encouraging words. Our extended families provided us with connections to our past, our present and our future - opening up their homes for visits, sending memories/stories of our parents and keeping us connected when we so needed to be. Our friends were the glue we needed when our lives were spread so thin. They chipped in where they could, gave us much needed opportunities for social gatherings, helped us laugh at ourselves and let us cry when we needed. Life as usual goes on and we know that we are not alone, that we are being lovingly embraced along the way.

We quit counting our blessings this past year because we couldn't count that high. We are infinitely blessed not just in the day-to-day - good jobs, warm shelter, good food - but in the most important aspect of life - LOVE. Every moment was filled with it and we hope that you can FEEL THE LOVE, now and forever.

The very best to you - a part of our family - the human family - may you find peace, joy and LOVE today.

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beach Photos 41
categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Wednesday 12.22.10
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 18
 

Easy Vinatarta....not like mom's...

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This December I tackled them all, vinatarta, kúrenukökur and lastly pönnukökur - all Icelandic baking that my mother did at Christmas time. As a child we watched her do this every year, maybe not the pönnukökur's, but for sure the vinatarta and kúrenukökur. We had images of licking the bowl and getting a "taste" of the goodies. You would think after age 10 we would know better and quit hoping.

How to explain....my mother is a perfectionist and a "tad" on the obsessive compulsive side of the spectrum. What maybe we took for perfectionism was probably more her inability to let things go until it was done "just so". Baking was no exception and let's just say that what was left in the bowl after she was finished mixing the batter was "even too small for a mouse". There are four of us children - divide that up and you can see a little disappointment creeping in. Add in that mom grew up on a farm outside Gimli, Manitoba during the depression and then you will know that she was only baking once for the Christmas season. That meant no tasting of the goodies until Christmas time. She packaged that baking so it could survive a nuclear attack and then hid the goodies until Christmas. The "sneaky" ones in the family found her spots and stole the baking at their peril (I wasn't one of them). In our adult years, mom had her "stashes", which our sister-in-law "found" and raided. Because we were no longer home and she baked well before Christmas and she had that habit of not bringing out the goodies until a certain time, she would forget that the baking was there and you would be eating stale kúrenukökur's by the time you found them. That's how desperate we are, better stale than none.

As an adult I had made kúrenukökur's (currant sugar cookies) for Christmas and realized how easy they were. You mixed up the batter, rolled it out, cut the cookies, baked and voila! kúrenukökur's! What I had never attempted was vinatarta and there was a good reason for that. As a child, I had watched mom make vinatarta and it was a three-day process - yes! 3 days! She started with the prune mixture. She bought prunes with the pits still in them because she didn't trust that "pitted" prunes would really have all the pits taken out. Pitting one pound of prunes = 1 hour of work. Add in pitting "Alda" style and you could double that time. After that, she boiled them and then had an old-fashioned meat grinder that she hooked up to the kitchen sink and ground the prunes. The meat grinder is probably 60 years old and it still looks brand new. How is that possible?, you may ask. Because mom meticulously cleaned it after the once per year use for grinding the prunes. The cleaning process took a minimum of 1 hour, and that was just the washing of the parts. She then dried each part with a tea towel, carefully laid each part out on top of the stove to completely dry, wrapped each piece carefully in brown paper, put elastics around to hold the paper close to the grinder for a snug fit and then put all of that into at least 2 or 3 plastic bags to seal it tight. You can see how a whole afternoon could be used up just in the cleaning process alone.

Was she done? Absolutely not! After the prune mixture was ground, she put it back on the stove to add the sugar and cook until dissolved. From there she put the mixture into a container in the fridge and just scraping every bit of the mixture from the pot to the container took a minimum of a 1/2 hour. Again, no "licking" of the pot or spoon -- what was left over was "even too small for a mouse" - certainly too small for four children to share.

Next process - the dough for the layers of the cake. Vinatarta is a 6 layered cake with prune filling between the layers topped off with a butter cream icing. The cake layer is really a sugar cookie dough thinly rolled and cut into rounds (or square). You use a round cake pan to go by and cut the layers out and bake. Here is where mom's obsessive compulsiveness really shone. Each layer had to be exactly the same thickness and perfectly round. If you left the kitchen during this stage and came back a 1/2 hour later you would find her still working on the first cutout. After she was done and a whole day was gone, the layers would be cooled completely, stored and put away for the next day of putting it all together.

Putting the cake together was a sight to behold. Each layer was examined to find the one that was the least perfect which would be used on the bottom. Cue the magnifying glass to find the imperfection! The first layer had to be placed "just so", which took about 15 minutes and then the prune mixture put on. This required precise measurement because every layer had to have the same amount of prune mixture. From there she spread the prune mixture over the first layer and it had to be the same thickness right across and go to the very edge without going over. Another 15-30 minutes for that. Next came an examination of the other layers to pick the next one to fit on top. She would hover the 2nd layer over the first turning it round and round to try and line it up so it would fit perfectly. That layer could hover for about 15 minutes before being put on and then she had to examine the fit to make sure it was right. She would repeat this all day until all 6 layers were put together. Now she wrapped the cake like it was going to be shipped overseas by boat in a hurricane and still get there in perfect shape. And she still hadn't iced the top!

So is it any wonder that it took me until my 40's to attempt baking vinatarta? For many years I didn't think I had the time required or the skill set to achieve the desired results. When I finally decided it was time to take the plunge I was surprised by how easy vinatarta is to make. While I may be like my mom in many ways, especially in the obsessive compulsive department, I am different in one very unique way. I don't have the patience of a saint. In fact, I inherited my dad's patience - NONE! I do like things to be neat and tidy without the work of getting it that way. That's why I don't have "stuff". You can be neat and tidy with minimal effort when you don't have a lot of things requiring cleaning and moving. That's also how I like to bake/cook - I am always trying to make good food with minimal effort.

As long as you can settle for "good enough", which I can, you can make vinatarta in 1.5 hours of effort. Buy pitted prunes, throw into a crockpot with water, turn on and leave overnight. In the morning take out, put into a food processor with the sugar and mix. Dump into a container and put in the fridge if you aren't ready to make the layers. Don't worry about getting every last drop out and throw the parts of the food processor in the dishwasher to do all the work. When ready to do the layers, mix the dough, slap on the counter, roll out quickly and eyeball the thickness, cut the rounds and bake. Let them cool. In between have a glass of wine and read a good book. When layers are cool pick the first one that is closest and spread the prune mixture. If it drips over the side it will give your vinatarta some "character". When done, wrap once because you will be eating it soon! If you have left-over dough, which I always do, make cookies and use left-over prune mixture to make "vinatarta cookies" - a big hit with the crowds that want a taste NOW!

Did mom's vinatarta look better - YOU BET! Does mine taste as good, I like to think so. Maybe next year I will try "turducken" and see if I can simplify that process as well.

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Merry Christmas - enjoy!

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 12.12.10
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 11
 

I always wanted to be a witch...

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I know. "Aren't you already?" Ha, ha. Now that you got that out of your system, let me explain what I mean.

I grew up reading. I could spend hours curled up with a good book. Our house had a good assortment of books and I definitely had my favourite ones. The first book that I truly loved was, "Go Dog Go" by Dr. Seuss. The story was simple and funny and the illustrations grabbed me. I wanted to be at the dog party in the tree at the end of the book. I wanted to be with the dogs in the house by the beach. I wanted to be the dogs driving those cool cars and I really wanted to be the dog who kept wearing more and more elaborate hats and asking, "Do you like my hat?" It was a place that was full of excitement, fun and interesting characters. As a child (and still as an adult), I lived in my head creating elaborate places where I could go and be anyone I wanted to be. When life was challenging or boring I could always go there in my mind and have it exactly the way I wanted it to be. If I created something that wasn't quite right, I could change it in an instant. I had total control (I know, still sounds like me).

I had a great big story book - "Cinderella" and that was another one that I loved to read and look at. It was the transformation from the little cinder girl to the princess that grabbed me. The illustrator had done a phenomenal job of the dresses she wore to the ball and then ultimately to her wedding. I dreamed of being her, of having that dress and living with the handsome prince. At the time I thought we would just play together forever. Now I know better, the fairy tale ends and real life begins with children, dishes, housecleaning, appointments -- all the mundane that weaves together a rich life with someone. And the "playing" together often goes on the back-burner to give priority to sleep. Who would have known in our teenage years that sleep would have been more important than staying out all night partying and having a good time with that good-looking fellow you picked up!

I read lots of the standard books, "Little Women" (loved it and still do), "Heidi" (loved it and want to do a "Heidi" walking trip in Switzerland someday - anyone care to join me?), "Dear God, it's me Margaret" (okay, you had to be a girl for this one) and a host of others.

But it was a book called "The Little Broomstick" by Mary Stewart that got me into the world of magic and opened up a whole new set of possibilities for my imagination. When I googled this book and found out it was by Mary Stewart, the author of the Merlin Trilogy I adore as an adult, it made sense why I had become transformed by this book. Getting to her website and finding the novel (published in 1972, probably the year I received it), with that same cover brought back a flood of memories for me. That book grabbed me and swallowed me completely. I was the little girl "Mary" finding that broomstick and flying into a magical world full of adventure. The book was real to me. As I devoured that book I never wanted it to end. I wanted to stay in this place and really fly on a broomstick. That's why I love the Harry Potter books, it takes me to a place that is full of adventure and magic. And it's magic that opens up possibilities where in real life you sometimes can't see them. It's magic that lets you suspend beliefs and see things from a different perspective. It's magic that stirs the imagination and creates a new reality. It's magic that lets you try a different approach and be a different person.

That's the fine line I tread in life and why I sometimes need a "break" from adult fiction (especially Canadian adult fiction!). Yes they have great stories to tell but they can be awfully depressing and too "real". It's like we forget our childhood of possibilities and find ourselves stuck in this mess of emotional tragedy. I don't want to read a book and say at the end, "well at least my life isn't as f&%@ed up as that person's life." I want to get to the end and feel like there is another possibility for the outcome. I want to be excited about living, about striving, about dreaming, about being and sometimes I need that escape into a different world where anything goes. And that is the fine line, I have to stay grounded here and not live in the escape but find the balance that brings joy, health and love to my life and others.

So I want to be a witch. I want to go on that grand adventure and conjure magical spells to create a world of possibilities. I want to see that every great fantasy novel is a metaphor for life: a journey of hills and valleys, of great joy and great sorrow, of incredible strength and incredible cowardice, of good and evil, of having companions and going it alone and finding that this is our internal journey of being fully human. We will stumble and fall, we will face our inner demons, we will meet a host of characters who help us on the way, and we will find that we are never alone on the journey, that God has equipped us with God's love and light - our magical powers to be the best we can be.

I am heading off on my broomstick right now....hope to see you on my journey.

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categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions, Reading/Movies
Wednesday 12.01.10
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 2
 

I want to be more like Iko...

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Tiana at Peggy's June 14, 2010 and Iceland trip June 15-23 255_2

My friend's husband recently got a new truck. One of the features is the navigation system. A friendly voice maps out the route and tells him where he needs to turn. My friend calls the navigation system voice, "Iko". It's funny to want to be more like a "digital voice" but after what my friend told me, I realized that's exactly who I aspire to be.

When they go for a drive, Iko patiently tells the driver where to turn based on the route that has been mapped. If a "mistake" is made and you miss turning where you are supposed to, Iko comes on in a pleasant voice saying, "Re-calculating route." That's it! Not, "You idiot - how many times did I tell you the turn off was coming up and you missed it - are you blind?" No coming in with past grievances like, "You did this the last time we had to go here, how can you get it wrong every time." No taking advantage of the situation to add insult to injury by saying, "Men really can't multi-task. I knew that chewing gum would distract you."

It's really quite amazing. Iko doesn't get personal. In fact, she makes it sound like missing the turn-off is a good thing. "Let's re-calculate the route and go on an adventure together." There isn't a frantic search for the map with two people screaming at each other blaming the other for missing the turn-off - "YOU were supposed to be looking, I'm driving!" Iko doesn't get flustered because you are already late for your engagement, she calmly lets you know that in fact, there is another route to be taken. You can hear her soothing voice implying that it's okay, you are in good hands and you will get there. Don't worry, be happy!

Maybe this is sounding a little too much like the "Stepford Wives", but I have to admit, I would like to be able to react like this more often. It doesn't make sense to take these things personally and start an argument over them. I think Iko is on to something. Why am I bringing in the past into a present situation? Why am I not seeing the opportunity for discovery in going a different way? Why am I not finding the joy in the gift of the journey and instead focusing on the destination? Why am I in such a hurry, because as a famous song says, "all we really have to do is live and die".

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About four weeks ago I went for a run on the trail. All the leaves on the trees had died and fallen off and we had already had a light snowfall that had come and melted. As I ran I came across one tree with all its' withered, dried, dead leaves still clinging to the branches. I had to stop and take a picture. I realized that it was telling me something very important. The tree wouldn't let go of the leaves even though they were dead and no longer viable. High winds, cold, rain, frost and snow had been unable to dislodge these leaves from the tree even though the tree was exposed to all the elements. I wondered about that as I continued my run. Why hadn't the leaves fallen? What was keeping them attached to the tree after they were no longer useful? Why weren't they decaying on the ground and providing nourishment for the soil or protection for small bugs and rodents? I wondered at how much energy the tree needed to use to "hold" on to these dead leaves. I wondered if the leaves had died with some kind of "scar tissue" that attached itself to the tree and the tree just couldn't shed them. I wondered if that would affect the tree's ability to survive the winter, if this energy used to keep the leaves would compromise the tree's immune system.

As I pondered this I realized that it was sending me a message about my life. How much energy am I using holding on to past hurts and slights to my ego? Why wasn't I letting them go? What kind of a hold did they have on me or was I the one holding on? How was it compromising my ability to let my inner light of God shine? How do I relate to those I love while holding on to all of these "dead" issues?

I do want to be more like Iko. I want to embrace the moment and see the moment as the best place to be, full of hope, full of possibilities, full of light, full of adventure, full of love. I want to re-calculate the route when things go off course and together find a new path that opens up our eyes to the beauty life has to offer. I want to meet each moment with "new" eyes, ones that aren't holding on to past hurts. It won't be without challenges, but as Iko expresses, we can face these challenges, find a new route to discover and let life unfold in all its splendour.

categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions
Sunday 11.28.10
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 4
 

Things I Learned From My Dad...

1968-9 Grand4kids
1968-9 Grand4kids

November 19, 2009 was the day my dad died. We weren't expecting it that soon and thought we would have more time to be with him and more time to sort some things out. Fortunately for dad, he died before he got really sick from his cancer and true to form, he left some things undone. So in tribute to my dad today, here are a few things I have learned from him:

1. Leave it to the last minute. If you are lucky, someone else will have to come along and deal with all that CRAP! (Thank you dad!)

2. Being late, really LATE makes sure that you will be noticed and remembered.

3. Marry someone who will clean up after you, raise your children for you, find things for you and give you the freedom to do exactly what you want to do and when you want to do it. (Thank you mom!)

4. Be very opinionated and if logic doesn't serve you well in the discussion, throw in irrelevant and extreme views that will leave people completely dumbfounded so they won't have anything left to say.

5. Say exactly what you are thinking out loud at all times to save energy. You won't have to remember what kind of a "spin" you put on things when you follow this one and if a few people don't talk to you again, oh well, less energy spent in trying to maintain too many relationships. Better yet, be oblivious to any offence you might have given and you can treat everyone as a friend.

Last but not least, the real lessons I learned:

1. Laugh easily with others and at yourself. Bring a sense of humour to lighten the load for everyone. Know how to tell a good story to put people at ease and help them enjoy the moments you share together.

2. Serve others and know how to be in communion with others wherever you go.

3. Put your best effort into everything you do.

4. Stand up for what you believe in that will make things better for your community, your country and the world. Make sure your voice and actions contribute to making the world a better place for all of creation.

5. LIVE life fully. LOVE freely. Be THANKFUL for all you have.

Thank you Dad. I love you and know that your love is with me still, guiding me in everything I do. Here's to you today!

1968-9 Grand4kids2
1968-9 Grand4kids2
categories: General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions, Uncategorized
Friday 11.19.10
Posted by Edith Mackenzie
Comments: 8
 
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