Alda and Me

The past eight months with Alda (mom) has been a wonderful gift. For a 78 year old woman she is certainly spry. Every morning she would do her “Tai Chi”, as my brother would say, balancing on one leg while she pulled on her pants or tied her shoes. This while she was by the side of the bed – who needs to sit down when you can stand on one leg to do everything. Never mind that I tried to tell her there was a law that forbade people over 75 from standing on stools or balancing on one leg, she would just smile and say, “I don't believe it.” You can't pull the wool over her eyes.

Our journey together began on November 19th, 2009 when my father died and left mom alone. I wouldn't call it sudden, but it sure happened a lot quicker than we thought. True to dad, he always thought he had more time than he did and he left without having a plan in place for mom. Her dementia had made it impossible for her to be alone in the house and so I stayed for six weeks, cleaning out the house (a whole other story, let's just say – don't ever do this to your children!), and managing the day-to-day tasks of a household – cooking, washing and endlessly having a looping conversation about what mom should wear that day, what we were doing, who was coming, where were we going, who were these people that kept calling, etc. She was at that awkward stage, not ready for a nursing home and not able to be by herself anymore.

Before I had come home, I was grieving for the mother I used to know. My mother was the queen of memory and detail. She retained all sorts of information and kept all family/friend connections stored for quick retrieval. Many a conversation would start with, “you remember so and so, who was married to so and so, who went on to do this and that…..” and you would get a detailed blow-by-blow of this person's life. I didn't inherit the memory gene and I wouldn't remember any of them. That never stopped mom, that just made her give you more detail as if that would stir some part of your brain into remembering. Bless her, she never thought I was a lost cause.

For five years mom had been slowly losing her memory in startling ways and for the past two and a half it had really begun to progress. I am sure dad had been in denial and then when he had to start picking up some of the slack like paying the bills and doing more of the cooking while he still tried to fit in everything else he wanted to do, that he just got overwhelmed and kept on putting off the inevitable planning for their future, especially mom's care.

So mom came home with me to Alberta to live with my family for six months. We arrived December 29th and she settled in. Pat and I moved out of our room so mom could have the master bedroom with bathroom and we began to discover who Alda is. What we found out was surprisingly wonderful. Mom had entered a phase in her life when everything was new and she had the time to notice it all. The simplest of things were a joy to her, the sun in the sky, the cloud formations, the birds that flew by, the cat in the neighbour's window, the children playing across the street, each phase of the moon, ice cream for dessert – nothing was too small to catch her attention. While I raced around trying to get it all done, mom became fixated in the moment and let each moment capture her soul. I began to realize that I hadn't lost the mom I knew, I had gained the opportunity to get to know the person she is, fully alive and more than the sum of her memories. She is whole the way she is, the moment being all there is. I knew I had a great teacher in my midst and I am still gaining insight into all the lessons she gave me.

Mom went back to Toronto in late June after our trip to Iceland and has been staying with my sister Peggy and her family. She will soon move into an assisted living retirement home and I can't say that she is excited. There has been so much change for her and it hasn't always been easy. We have learned more about how to help her adjust and at the same time we know that there will be challenges ahead. Coming home to visit allowed us to pick mom up and take her to Gimli for a family reunion. Hanging out with mom again is a real treat, she keeps the smile on our face with all of her sayings and doings.

Last night we went to Happy Hour at Betel (the nursing home in Gimli where her sister Emma is) and the old-time music was playing. Mom got her toes a tapping, her favorite thing to do is dance and when the opportunity came, I went over and brought her out for a twirl. In that moment there was nothing else, just Alda and me dancing in pure joy. That's what real memory is, an imprint of a moment on your soul. Remembering is a totally different thing and so I know that whatever happens, this moment will be with me forever. Thanks for all the memories mom. I love you.

Watch Alda & me Dancing – Betel – Happy Hour – August 13, 2010

Alda and me dancing - Betel - August 13, 2010 from Edith Mackenzie on Vimeo.

Our Stars Are Aligned Today...

Back in Gimli and I am reading our daily horoscopes in the Winnipeg Free Press. They were accurate last time and I have no reason to doubt them now. It seems like our stars are aligned and we are going to have a great day.

Cancer (Me): Relations with others, especially family members, are much improved today! In large measure, this is because you are diplomatic and charming. This is a good day for negotiations, writing, teaching, acting and just shmoozing in general. Hmmm, much improved today with an exclamation mark no less. I wonder what that means – have I been a super B*&ch these past few days? I won't ask, I am apparently on a roll with my wonderfully charming self. I will stick to writing this and not push my luck with anything else, well maybe a bit of shmoozing…

Libra (Denise): You might feel a bit more emotional than usual today but you really don't mind because you feel so much better! Make plans to party with others or, alternatively, to enjoy a quiet day or evening by yourself. Either way, you will feel surprisingly content with life. More emotional!!! I don't think that's possible. We have made plans to go to Happy Hour at Betel (the Nursing Home in Gimli). We will be doing a sing-a-long and we can even get a glass of wine – sounds like a party to me! In the meantime she has been laying on the couch at Dilla's and enjoying a quiet day by ignoring us. Good strategy Denise.

Aquarius (Pat): Gifts, goodies and favours from others might come your way today. It definitely appears you can benefit from the wealth and resources of others. Therefore, keep smiling and keep your pockets open. Okay, maybe Pat's isn't super accurate today, so far he has spent the afternoon doing some cleaning as a favour for my aunt. However, her sign is the same as Pat's and so her horoscope is accurate – she has been getting favours done all day. I helped her with her computer most of the afternoon (she is 82 and it's impressive she uses it as much as she does).

Aries (Mom): Relations with partners and close friends are much improved today. Nevertheless, the moon, Venus, Mars and Saturn all oppose your sign now. Therefore, be pliable, elastic and flexible with others. (Smart.) Plus this means you can bounce back from anything. Oh yes, much improved today…lots more smiles and a good laugh at herself this afternoon. She brought a handful of papers to Dilla telling her what she found (all Dilla's stuff) and I asked what she was doing with them, she replied, “Finding out things.” Yes, Miss Snoop is in full gear and she is definitely elastic – she can reach into corners where we have hidden things from her. That's one benefit of dementia, everything you see is yours. I think that is really flexible.

Let's hope the stars stay in alignment for us, just two more days and we are homeward bound – another 17–18 hour road trip. What FUN! I wonder if we will be talking to each other at the end of this. Denise might want to plan another quiet day to herself when we get home. Well we are off to Happy Hour at Betel….

Chilling with Gilligan

Okay, she isn't Gilligan, but she sure looks like it with her sun hat on. When she is sitting back relaxed, she is lots of fun to be with and to chill with. She smiles easily, loves to laugh and has stories to tell. Her stories are about her childhood, her family and school. Mom must have loved going to school because so many of her memories are tied to that part of her life.

While she likes to be with us hanging out, she likes the idea more than the reality. Being in Toronto we want to go shopping and sight-seeing. When you ask mom if she wants to come along, she is always up for it and eagerly gets ready to go (just give her 30 minutes notice so she might be ready by the time you need to head out the door). Leave the house and already she starts whining about the heat (who wouldn't) and having to go out. Get her in the car and she wants to know where we are going and by the time you are on the road she is wondering what we are doing and why we have to be doing this. Stop and go to do some shopping and then the real sighing will begin, complaints about how old she is and that she really can't be doing this anymore. There are benefits to being older – you get to say exactly what you feel.

“So tell me again,” is what she is saying now, this being a familiar refrain. We are looping about our plans for tomorrow, heading back to Gimli and taking her with us so she can visit with her family and be there for the Minerva homecoming. Mom and I stayed behind for the afternoon, letting the younger ones (okay Pat doesn't really fit that description), go shopping. I wouldn't say that mom's children are thick, but we are a bit slow. It takes us several attempts at including her in all the activity before we learn that while she may want to join in, the reality is that she can't cope. While she truly does love us and her grandchildren (in theory-memory), the reality of all of us at once is too much for her now. One-on-one is so much better for her, she gets her sparkle back.

So here we are just the two of us. Her smile is close at hand and I am enjoying just hanging with my mom. Every moment is a joy no matter what comes up, every moment is one more moment with a great woman who I know loves me completely the way I was meant to be loved, for who I am not who I will be – the present is all we have. In her mind I am perfect even if the reality isn't all that it is cracked up to be.

Thanks mom.

Of Monarch Butterflies and Dad

Skipping a few days, here we are in Sarnia, the family home. We arrived in Toronto on August 3rd, reunited with Robert, mom, Peggy, Jeff and Ian and had a fabulous supper, courtesy of Robert & Jeff. Yes Karina, there is a Santa Claus (okay great chefs which is your version of a Santa Claus).

We left for Sarnia on August 4th and got to the family home on Lake Huron – 150 feet of beach beckoning us all. Our children have great memories of this place, summers spent on the beach, doing chores with Grampa, keeping track of your towels and avoiding the wrath of Amma for bringing the sand into the house.

Upon arrival we had a special treat waiting for us. Outside the front porch windows, mom and dad had planted milkweed which attracts the monarch butterflies. They lay their eggs on the plant which is a great evolutionary approach to the butterfly's survival. When they consume the milkweed it makes them toxic to their potential predators. Memories of thousands of beautiful monarch butterflies arriving in the spring and leaving in late summer filled my mind. I loved the butterflies as a child, not the caterpillars. I now found it all fascinating that we could watch the whole process out the front window. It reminded me of dad telling us how the milkweed was essential to the monarch's survival and once he knew that he made sure the milkweed was protected on their property.

We had 3 stages of the butterfly present out the front window. The caterpillar, the pupa and the adult butterfly. Robert eagerly got his camera out to take numerous pictures of the different stages, the highlight being the butterfly emerging from the pupa.

It all seemed fitting, life goes on even when others have passed on. Dad's physical presence was missing from the house but his spirit was all around. He was here in our memories and in the knowledge he passed on to us, the appreciation of nature and the laughter we all shared. We interned dad's ashes on Saturday, August 7th. We had a beautiful sunny day, family, close friends and stories to tell. What more could we ask for – thank you dad, I love you.

Did I really book our flight for 5:45 am????

The simple answer – Yes. What was I thinking? I remember why, it just seems rather silly as we get up at 2:30 am to leave Dilla's by 3:00 am and drive to Winnipeg so we can be there for 4:00 am, enough time to check in. Oh, and forgot to ask Dilla for the directions to get to the airport, going by memory isn't a good thing when just about everything is closed at 4:00 am. The police cruiser in the middle of the intersection looked promising until I thought about it, what if they were setting up a blockade, you don't really want to be asking for directions and have a shooting break out.

This wouldn't have been so bad if we had been getting lots of sleep for the past few days, but with the Islendingadagurinn going on, the heat & humidity of a Manitoba summer, we haven't really caught up on our beauty sleep after the 21 hour road trip. Can you spell CRANKY! When your default setting is close to cranky, it doesn't take much to tip it over the edge into full fledged BITCHY and lack of sleep is my #1 tipping point.

Monday, August 2nd was the big day of the Islendingadagurinn, starting with the parade at 10 am, and these are Icelanders, they started at 10 am sharp. We were close to the beginning to get a great view. The parade is a lot like other small town parades, except with a huge contingent of Shriners (this being close to Winnipeg). I wondered a lot about the future of the Shriners, and other groups like them – I don't think we saw anyone under 50 and I would think the average age is around 75. Who will take up the torch when they all pass on? I always think of these men's groups as little boys still playing in their forts with signs that say “Girls keep out”. I have to say, the Shriners have the best toys out of all the boys clubs I have seen.

Next were the races at the park. Each year they have races for children/adults where they start with “Under 2” and move up year by year. We went in these races when we were kids and sometimes we would win. The winnings were a few dollars and that helped you get money for the rides. Now they get a ribbon and everyone gets a freezie. Our cousin's granddaughters were in the 3 and under 2 categories – are we ever getting OLD.

Amma's Kitchen was doing the food at the pavilion and that will be another special posting just for Karina. We ended the day at our cousin's cottage (estate is more like it) for pizza and just good laughs. For all the excitement of the Islendingadagurinn, the real appeal was seeing family. Now that I am an adult with my own grown up children, I really get this. Getting a taste of your culture with your own family spin on the traditions is what makes it fun. Re-connecting to people who share your background and making your family a part of it is what keeps the stories alive. Embellishment is the whole point.

Getting My Runes Read - Gimli, Day 2, Sunday, August 1st

It's Islendingadagurinn weekend (the day of the Icelanders – or Icelandic celebration). When we were young Monday of the long weekend was the ONLY day of the Islendingadagurinn, the parade, the races, the pavilion and the famous program. Now it is spread out over the whole weekend with lots of activities and transforming a town of 1500 that grows to 10,000. My mom and aunt's favorite refrain rings in my ears, “Can you stand it!” Today we are headed to the park pavilion in the hot and humid heat of a Manitoba summer to see Dilla in her Icelandic costume behind one of the booths. We do the rounds of all the “Icelandic” booths inside the pavilion, suffering in the stagnant heat and I see her – a young woman sitting at a small table advertising Rune Readings. Rose Goossen isn't Icelandic but has absorbed the culture in Gimli and a fascination with Runes. After reading a book that “jumped” out at her last year at the library, getting a set of runes as a gift from a friend, studied the mythology and started doing readings a few months ago. Her fee was a suggested “donation” of $5 and my curiosity was peaked. I sat down to hear what she would have to say. What insights would she give me? Her warm smile and complete passion for her new-found calling made me feel completely at home and I became absorbed by the process.

I chose the “Eight-Point cycle of the year” reading. She gave me the bag of runes, told me to pick one at a time and place them in a circle of eight points starting with the south-western point which represented August 1, today. I chose eight runes and placed them in the circle clock-wise ending at the southern tip. I had come full circle and she began with the present and moved forward through the coming year for me.

The first rune was Isa and represented Ice, stillness. This is to be a time for me to not act quickly but to be still and patient, to wait and see where things lie. That made me sweat – PATIENCE may be a virtue, but not one that I easily embraced. I could hear the gods laughing in the background. On to Oct 22nd, the next rune which was Laguz and represented water, flow. This made sense, the ice will thaw and start to move, my life flowing where it chooses to and I need to let it go, to trust in the direction and the journey. Control freak Edith is starting to hyper-ventilate…the gods are definitely having fun with this.

The next was Nov. 1st and the rune was Teiwaz, representing the warrior and challenge. Oooh, this is getting good. I am flowing towards the light (from a nuclear warhead??). At least Rose was saying that I have the tools to deal with the challenge, the strength of the warrior. The northern tip is Dec 22nd, Yule, and I have chosen Ansuz, which is awareness, signals/signs. I will need to be open to the signs and messengers I am being sent to guide my path. I know, I so easily listen to advice!

On to Feb 1st and Jera representing harvest, the cycle of one year. Whatever I have nurtured in that year will be ready for harvest. My efforts will have its reward at this time – I am curious about what this might be. Things are definitely picking up in this 2nd half of my “year” and for Mar. 22nd I have chosen Wunjo, which symbolizes joy and prosperity – I am liking this one. May 1st is Sowulo, solar energy leading to rejuvenation and creativity. The final one at the southern tip is Fehu, for midsummer, June 22nd and is giving me a message of material and spiritual prosperity – I guess I am buying a lotto ticket next June.

Rose smiled as she gave me my card explaining the runes I had chosen and drew a diagram of my “circle”, where each rune was on the circle and where my cycle begins. I thanked her and gladly gave her my donation. I don't know if it will help me this year or not, it hasn't really told me anything I don't already know — yes, I need to be patient, I need to let “life” lead the way and flow with it, I need to trust that God has given me the tools I need to meet the challenges of living in harmony with others and creation, I need to be aware of the wonderful teachers that show me the way, I need to take time to harvest and be thankful for all my blessings, I need to let joy fill me to overflowing so I can share it with others, I need to take a breath and allow love to rejuvenate me and creatively let that love flow through me and finally realize that God is all, abundant, and fully present in every moment – INFINITE LOVE. God has given all, now it is up to me to turn and accept this wondrous gift. So thank you Rose for being that messenger that reminds me of what is already present.

Coming soon — Day 3, the big day of the Islendingadagurinn, the parade, the races and for Karina — the food.

On the Road Again... Going Back to My Roots...

We are heading east to go “home” this week. This is our annual ritual, when you move away, you go “home” for your holidays and that is what I have been doing for 30 years. The annual trek is one I could do in my sleep, and I sure wish I could drive it that way. I don't like driving when I have a destination in mind. The drive becomes the means to the end and I just want to be there. Forget about the zen of the journey, the now of the moment, no enlightenment for me. You can imagine what a joy I must be to drive with on trips like this, especially when we have 16–17 hours ahead of us. Once I get on the road, I already want to be there and don't have much patience for any unscheduled stops. Pat was joking that he should have ordered the Stadium Pal for the trip (it's for men – a temporary storage bag attached to your – you know what, so you can pee into it wherever you are), because I don't like to stop too often and he always has to pee — he has a woman's bladder! Our original plan was to leave right after work on Friday, July 30th (around 4:30 pm) and drive as far as Edmonton and then head out early Saturday morning and drive the rest of the way to Gimli, Manitoba. As it got closer, I kept on thinking that we should just keep driving and go through the night till we got there. When I announced that plan to Pat a few days before, he groaned, he knew what that meant – I was in “let's just get there” mode and I am none too pleasant as a traveling companion in that state.

We did leave at 4:30 pm Friday and I kept driving. We switched at Lloydminster and Pat drove to Saskatoon. I took over at 1 am and made it another hour or so down the road – good old Hwy 16 – Just Yellowhead it. We stopped at a gas station and put our seats back to have a rest. At 5 am we awoke, walked around, had a coffee and headed out again. Pat and I had sore butts from the car seats and Denise kept on sleeping in the back – so much for her “I can drive when you need me”. What she meant was, “I really don't want to drive, so don't ask me to.”

To give you an idea of what our trip was like, here was our horoscopes for Saturday, July 31st – they were super accurate:

Cancer (Edith): This is a poor day for important discussions with siblings, relatives and friends. Whatever happens, you will feel displeased. There's an undercurrent of resentment and dissatisfaction in the air. People are doing a slow burn. Would an ice cream cone help? Yep, that about sums it up for me yesterday.

Libra (Denise): This is not an easy day for your sign. By nature, you like harmony around you. You don't like to rock the boat. You like to keep everyone happy. But today you're upset. The problem is you feel you can't say anything. So you're just grinding your teeth. Take a deep breath and smile. Okay, she likes harmony as long as you are keeping it, she wants us to be happy no matter what she says/does and when she grinds her teeth — you know it! High alert for body language and tone of voice!

Aquarius (Pat): You might be unhappy about how something is shared today. More likely, you're unhappy with somebody else's values, which definitely do not reflect your own. Compromise is the only solution, but you don't want to compromise. You want to stay in a funk. (Been there, done that, got the T-shirt). I wonder who he was unhappy with about how it got shared? Any guesses?? Wouldn't be me would it Pat? I can't imagine it was anything I SAID….

We did make it to Gimli around 1:45 pm and thank goodness for Dilla – our saviour. She was there to greet us and welcome us into her place and we settled in. I went for a run, Denise for the shower, Pat for a shave and then a walk downtown to go to KaffeHouse – our special place for a latte. Of course, it is Icelandic celebration weekend and Gimli is packed with people… more about that tomorrow…

But to whet your appetite, I will leave you a picture of Dilla (my aunt) in her traditional Icelandic costume, an upplautur, and the definition of Gimli. In Norse mythology it is said that it is the home of the Gods – a paradise. That's what we needed after our marathon travel day – paradise on the shores of Lake Winnipeg.

Free Ideas - Books

Here are a few ideas I have had over the years for writing a book, none of which I have done. I want to give them away and see if anyone else has use for them and make something out of them. If you get rich with these, GREAT, and if you want to give something back — donate to a cause you believe in.

Book Ideas:

Idea #1:

I am always reading about how we have to “cull” wildlife that has become a nuisance to human populations. I was thinking that a good book to write would be one where you would feature a community that has a problem with an animal population, out of control, how they are wreaking havoc with food, homes, encounters, etc. The community would decide how to “cull” through various methods – controlled hunt, sterilization, etc. You could have the “animal rights activists” come out against these cruel methods, the “environmentalists” come out saying that the community is the problem because they are the ones encroaching by taking over more of the animal's territories for their expansion, and so on — you get the idea. The twist would be at the end, when you find out that the whole time you have been reading this you thought it was a human community, but in fact it is a community of wolves (or other animal grouping) and they are “culling” humans. I think that this is a message we need to get, that the animal population wouldn't need culling if we weren't the ones encroaching, polluting, destroying and over-consuming the earth's resources. We need to get the message that it is US, the human population, that is the biggest peril to the rest of creation on earth. Earth will exist without us and will go on, most of the creatures/vegetation on the earth will go with us, though, because of our greedy actions. Okay, you don't have to have the “preachy” message, you make it what you want, just an idea….

Idea #2:

A new twist on Alzheimer's/dementia — forget “The Notebook” and how the man continues to tell the story of the lovers to get his wife to recognize him again. Let's look at it from another perspective. Maybe we are the ones who are losing ourselves, and not our loved one with the memory loss. We end up defining someone by who they were, the sum of our memories of them and forget that they are a being that is constantly changing from moment to moment and not any given moment can define them. Living with my mother taught me that this past year. So here is what I was thinking. You start with a person, let's say Anne, who has a parent, let's say a mother, with dementia. Anne goes to see her mother one day and Anne's mother forgets who Anne's husband is – Anne's mother has no recollection of the husband. When Anne goes home, any trace of her husband is gone and her husband never shows up. Anne becomes frantic and calls all his friends, colleagues, etc., only to get the response that they don't know her husband, she never had a husband and they are concerned about her sanity. Anne's best friend would come over to console her and Anne is trying to convince her that she has a husband and the best friend is very worried….

The next day Anne goes to see her mother and she asks her mom if she remembers her husband (let's call him Dan). This time her mother does remember him and when Anne gets home, everything is back to normal, Dan is there. Thus Anne enters an alternate reality where every time she visits/talks to her mom and her mother “forgets” someone in Anne's life, they disappear until her mother “remembers” them. Anne is the only one that knows the before and after. Anne is stuck in this “reality” of her mother's and becomes more and more afraid that soon her mother will forget who Anne is and Anne will disappear. Anne is afraid that situation will be her death, she will cease to exist and no one will remember her – she will have never existed.

So how to end this — my thoughts are that Anne needs to discover that it is her memory of her mom that holds the key to the mystery – that she has to let go of who her mother was, to finding out who her mother is and discovering that the mother's memory isn't important. Anne needs to embrace the mystery of her mother and discover how to connect in the moment and let the past go, to let the grief go and to celebrate the now of her mother.

Hope someone (who writes really well), takes these ideas and makes them their own and writes a great story. Let me know if you do – I would love to read the book.

Three Sisters & Three Sisters Visit Iceland

Eight months ago our family had a life changing experience with our father passing away. My mother was unable to live on her own — her memory had been deteriorating for several years. My mother, Alda Mackenzie (nee Narfason) had a remarkable memory in her prime, able to tell us about all of the people back in Gimli where she grew up. She could tell us who our second cousins, once removed were, who they were married to and how many children they had. Now she was having difficulty remembering the names of her children and grandchildren. I stayed with her for 6 weeks in Ontario and then she came home with me December 29th to live with us in Slave Lake, Alberta until we could sort things out. We had missed our opportunity — we always said we should go to Iceland with mom — and we should have ten years earlier. But opportunity came knocking in March. My aunt Dilla (Narfason) phoned to say that she was going to Iceland – there was a seat sale and she was going with my aunt Olan (Isfeld). I tentatively asked if she thought mom and I could tag along. She said yes. I asked if I could invite my siblings and she agreed. My two sisters, Peggy & Liz, were able to go and so we had three sisters and three sisters — two generations heading to Iceland in mid-June. Thus our journey began...

Peggy, Liz, mom and I left from Toronto on June 15th and arrived early on the morning of June 16th. We got on the Fly Bus and headed to Reykjavik to Snorri’s Guesthouse B&B. Magnús, the owner, greeted us, let us grab breakfast and our rooms were ready to move into! The weather in Reykjavik wasn’t read for us, nor would it be, except for the celebrations on Independence Day, June 17th, and the day we headed home on June 23rd when the sun actually shone. Peggy began our running joke of tourist captions for Iceland, my favorite of hers was, Hot Flashes Welcome – Come to Iceland. I have never spent such a cold week in June anywhere — wind, rain and less than warm temperatures would be our constant companions on the trip.

We spent our first day wandering around Reykjavik. Mom was a real trooper and walked with us. Our first stop was at Hallgrímskirkja, the biggest church in Iceland. WOW is about all you can say. It is so impressive on the outside and yet not overdone on the inside. A complete contrast which is a lot like Iceland itself. The people are proud and independent but not in a showy way. They provide good service but not in a effusive manner. They don’t disclose easily and yet they make it plain through body language and tone of voice when they think you are being an idiot tourist. I was finally in a place where I could make sense of my relatives and see that our “quirks” are really genetically programmed. I had the “ah ha” moment many times during our travels and another tourist caption was born... Feeling a Sense of Entitlement? Need to be brought down a notch? Come to Iceland.

Dilla and Olan arrived the next morning, Independence Day, June 17th. Dilla had already been in touch with relatives and they picked them up at the airport, brought them home for breakfast and then whisked them to the B&B. Dilla would come up with many of these surprises over the next six days having already communicated with numerous distant relatives and agreeing to see many of them. Have I said that we come from a long line of strong, independent, practical, organized and “bossy” women? Dilla gets the gold star in this category and she would confer with me, “Mini Me” about the plans for each day. Had I talked to Magnús and booked the tour, should we go here or there on this day, what would we be doing as they were visiting, what time would we leave and meet up — there were numerous details I was to take care of and report back on the results. And Dilla gave directions with her usual straight-forward directness and ended it with, “don’t you think that’s what we should do?” giving you the impression that you had a say.

Independence Day was quite a sight with the President, Prime Minister and numerous dignitaries at the main square. There was a visible security presence but I think a lot less than the $1.1 Billion we spent for the G8/G20 in Canada. The sun came out this day and it would be a welcome sight — we just didn’t realize that this would be the only sighting we would have for 6 days. Celebrations were happening all over Reykjavik. Mom wondered why everyone was speaking Icelandic and we reminded her we were in Iceland on a trip. Her usual refrain, “Really?” was said often during the trip. For mom, every moment had the potential to be new and surprising. She did get into a routine of saying “góðan morgunn” to people and they would respond with “góðan daginn”, Good Day. Dilla helped us understand that in Iceland they wanted to wish you a whole good day, not just a morning. The Icelanders knew that the harshness of the landscape required more than just fortification for the morning, you really needed a whole day’s worth of blessing, each and every day.

Friday was our Golden Circle tour day. When conferring with Magnús about which day to do the Golden Circle and which day to do the Blue Lagoon we found out that we should save the “crappy” weather day for the Blue Lagoon. The Golden Circle tour was interesting but not done in the order we would have liked. We wanted more time at Gullfoss – the Golden Falls – and less time at Geysir and we would have eliminated the Power Plant tour to gain more time for sight-seeing. It was still interesting and beautiful (and wet and cold and windy).

Upon our return that evening we went to meet some relatives, Lauga Guðjónsdóttir and her family who hosted a wonderful supper for us and Lauga’s sister, Sigga Guðjónsdóttir. We had a wonderful time at Lauga’s home surrounded by her 2 children, spouses and grandchildren. Lauga & Sigga are related to us on Emeratiana’s side, our Afi’s mother. I could see the family resemblance in Lauga, she reminded me of Afi and our Uncle Mundi. Most of the younger generation spoke English very well, the older generation not as well and yet language was not a barrier to our gathering. It fuelled our curiosity and desire to know more about our Icelandic relatives. We exchanged email addresses and by the next day Peggy had already added many of them as friends on Facebook.

Gurry, the daughter, insisted on taking the 3 of us to Viðey Island for the afternoon. She picked us up Saturday, took us to the big Flea Market in Reykjavik and then we headed to the ferry to go to Viðey Island. Gurry was like many of us, she hadn’t been to Viðey since she was a teenager. Tourists usually see more of our own sights than we do ourselves and she enjoyed coming with us for the day. Viðey was a beautiful island with lots of birdlife, history & Yoko Ono’s IMAGINE PEACE TOWER. This is an outdoor work of art conceived by Yoko Ono in memory of John Lennon. We understood why the island had been abandoned, it was bleak in the cold wind that is relentless in Iceland and visiting is one thing, living there would be another.

While we frolicked on Viðey, mom and the aunts were exploring their roots in the South of Iceland visiting relatives close to Eyjafjallajökull. They were driven around to different relatives houses, had coffee and ate and ate all day. While we enjoyed a leisurely day of sightseeing, they packed in a major tour, finally getting back at 11:00 pm. We received gifts of ash from the volcano — a welcome souvenir. My favorite t-shirt was “Kiss my Icelandic Ash”.

On Sunday we met more relatives who had us over for another full meal. Birna and her husband Gisli put on a fantastic spread. Margaret Bjornsdottir, Birna’s aunt, was there and they were the perfect hosts. Margaret was of strong Icelandic stock and they were from Magnús’s side, our Afi’s father. The stories of our family were fascinating and we instantly connected to these wonderful people. Birna works at Hallgrímskirkja and invited us to drop by when she would be there. Her open and lovely manner made us feel welcome immediately .

Monday was our Blue Lagoon day. Cold, windy, rainy — PERFECT weather for going to the Blue Lagoon. Mom would have none of it and didn’t venture out to the pools, preferring to watch us from the comfort of the indoor café. Dilla and Olan braved the cold walk to the pools and joined us for 45 minutes before they left for lunch with mom and back to the B&B and on to have supper with more relatives. The 3 sisters stayed, enjoying the wonderful warm pools, perfecting the submerged walk that kept only your head exposed to the elements. We met American tourists, listened to lots of languages, hopped out for a wonderful buffet lunch and got back in again. The sun never appeared and we were in heaven. But ecstasy was yet to come that afternoon as we experienced the in-water massage we all booked. Oskar was my masseuse and all I can say is, Thank you Oskar, the pleasure was mine! We met a man drifting by after his massage with a look of pure contentment who sighed as he passed us and then sleepily looked at us and asked, “Had we had a massage yet?” “Oh yes”, we replied and nothing more needed to be said. We got out an hour later only to discover that we had sunburns, I repeat, SUNBURNS — without the sun ever appearing. Oh the irony.

Tuesday we toured more of Reykjavik and went for supper at the Perlan Restaurant. The view was fabulous (even with the rain) as the restaurant revolved 360 degrees and the food was wonderful. This was a great way to end our trip together – breaking bread, drinking wine and savouring each other’s company.

Wednesday, our last day, the sun came out. Peggy and I quickly went out for a few hours to stroll in the sunshine and enjoy a lunch outside. We now knew why they had tables and chairs outdoors, they didn’t want to miss one moment of that precious sunshine. We said our goodbyes to Magnús, to Reykjavik and jumped on the Fly Bus to the airport. Last minute shopping was easy at the airport, but boarding wasn’t. They don’t like you to lounge in comfort before you board, the lack of seats in the boarding area was a surprise and left us with one last line for our tourist quips, Tired of too much comfort — Come to Iceland. Our sister, Liz boarded for a plane to London to further her travels and we hopped on for Toronto. Dilla and Olan would leave us in Toronto and head back for Winnipeg. I would stay in Toronto for a few days and then leave to go back to Edmonton. Mom would be staying with Peggy in Toronto and I wasn’t looking forward to the goodbye. This trip had been one I will remember as long as my memory serves me. I had gone back to our roots and found that being home is being in the moment shared with others. Thank you Dilla, Olan, Peggy, Liz and especially mom — I love you all and “There is No Place Like Home”.

Welcome to An Eruption of Thought...

Why start a blog? Good question…one I have been asking myself as I gear up to go online. I have always wanted to write and have in bits and pieces, never seriously. I wanted to write a great novel and couldn't keep at it long enough and then just gave up. It kept niggling at me…you have to write, get your butt in gear, just do it. Then our daughter went to Kenya for 7 weeks and our oldest son created a blog for her to post a travel diary to share with family and friends, and the idea came that this is how I could start to write – in snippets, fits and starts, just let it all flow out.

It fits with my personality, a desire to create and a huge desire to purge. My home and my office is constantly being purged – I could have been a great nun in a monastery. Give me a bed, a table, chair and nothing else to clutter up my space. But the one place I haven't purged, that needs a good house cleaning is my mind. I am a headcase, my thoughts jumbled, overflowing, disorganized, all-consuming and energy sapping. I can see my blog as a great place to give away, recycle, dump and organize my mind. I can free up space, de-clutter and hopefully breathe without the “whirling dervishes” of my thoughts consuming me. At the same time I can have a creative outlet, let it go organic and grow into whatever all this thought wants to be.

I am ready. Now is the time to act, no longer try, just be. To start I have set up categories that I will post to, maybe they will stay, maybe not. Like a kitchen cupboard, you start off placing objects in cupboards & drawers thinking it will work best that way and then rearrange as you find it needs tweaking. Right now I have a General Eruptions of Thought/Opinions category that will be a catchall of musings. Free Ideas will be my space to give-away ideas I have had for novels, products, business ventures, etc. that I haven't used and don't see myself using. Why not give it away to someone who can do something with it?

Reading/Movies will track books/movies I have read/watched and any comments that I want to let out. Travel will be about the travel that I do or maybe want to do.

What does the Icelandic volcano, Eyjafjallajökull, have to do with my blog? My mom is of Icelandic descent and grew up in Gimli, Manitoba. I recently went on a trip with her, my 2 sisters and my 2 aunts to Iceland. The name for the blog came from that, a reference to my Icelandic roots and the power of the volcano to erupt and purge the lava from its core. My thoughts now have the vent it needs to flow out and become a part of the landscape…..